How do you feel about what must be destroyed in your life?
This is a question posted by Danielle LaPorte for Desire Map followers. We are starting a book club. Lucky for me – blog post prompts weekly and plenty of people to discuss them with. This question has irked me because I feel inspired and excited about the destruction of several things or parts of my life, but I run into a problem. How do you fully embrace destruction and start acting? Meaning, how to I get down with destruction and start lighting shit on fire?
Sitting in my bed writing this, I look up and it’s glaringly obvious that clutter must be destroyed. There is a lot of crap in this room that needs to be eliminated. It’s like a slap in the face because I realize that I already have an answer to my question. So how do I really feel about what needs to be destroyed in my life? Annoyed. Cleaning house – it isn’t exactly number one on my list of inspiring activities.
So how can I use my excitement about destroying unnecessary crap in my life into action instead of stewing in annoyance? This is the dry part where you have to channel David Allen in order to Get Things Done. Time to enroll in Getting Shit Done (GSD) University (Fist Pound – Shot of Espresso). Put your big girl pants on (or take them off if that makes you more comfortable) and make a concrete list of action specific items only. Here is an example of a bad list:
- Clean Room
- Bike Box Stuff
- Clear Desk
Here is an example of a GSD List:
- Fold clean laundry
- Put shoes in closet
- Vacuum rug
- Sort bike box: throw out crap, organize box and put under bed
- Sort through misc papers: recycle or file
Since these are all actionable items that are relevant to cleaning my room, I may make a GSD Clean Room Project List. It’s useful to make lists based on location, which includes an On the Go or Out and About list that you can reference while you are running errands. Once you begin breaking tasks down into smaller actionable items, you’ll be surprised at how much easier it might be to do them. When I go through this process it becomes glaringly obvious to me where my hang ups are. OH, that’s why I haven’t budged on cleaning my floor: I can’t vacuum until I buy new vacuum bags and I’m really dragging my feet on going to that particular store. No more excuses! Why am I resistant to that? Usually the best answer I can come up with is I don’t feel like it (lazy). Time to kick myself in the ass and get going.
Writing a GSD list helps us become clearer on what needs to be destroyed in our lives. Maybe laziness needs to be dealt with. Or procrastination. Or maybe it’s an opportunity to look at what your priorities are and honor them. Screw the vacuum bags! Sweep the rug. Your time is precious and you would rather spend time reading.
Based on my analysis of destroying clutter, I can see that I need to set aside some time to get started. I like the start small approach and remind myself often that giving a project 5 – 20 minutes a day will get me farther than thinking I have to do it all in one go. I have decided that I want to touch every item in my bedroom and ask if it still needs to be in here. If it doesn’t, I throw it out or give it away. This is just the beginning. Choose one thing and get started. It’s time to turn up the music and get your hands dirty.
What is one thing that needs to be destroyed in your life? How will you get started? Lara@LaraBuelow.com
I am in my first week of being 27 and several people have approached me asking about what goals I am setting for this new year. While I have plenty of things I would like to accomplish, I don’t think that 28X28 is the best structure for my next year of life. I am remembering a conversation with a good friend from a long time ago. I told him that I don’t really care much what happens in my life as long as I am happy. Whatever life throws my way, I hope I can come out the other side, find the important lessons and live a happy life. Even in the face of destruction and cruelty. If I experience the apocalypse, I still want to be capable of happiness.
So, dude that he is, my friend said that’s nice and all, but what do I have to DO in order to feel happy. I believe I fidgeted at the time and shifted around uncomfortably. Yes, this is a good approach, but dammit that means I have lots of unanswered questions. Little did I know at the time, this theory is in the same vein as Danielle LaPorte’s work. I want to FEEL X, so what do I have to DO in order to accomplish X? When I do Y, I feel X. This is exactly what Danielle LaPorte is getting at.
I am 4 days into 27 and I would like to outline a new framework for this year of life.
In order to set meaningful goals for myself, I want to make sure that I am pursuing activities that feed what I want to feel. It is much easier to feel fulfilled when you are clear on the intention behind a goal or activity. Rather than creating an arbitrary list of 28 things I would like to do before my next birthday, I would like to explore how to achieve my core desired feelings through activities each week or month. Since I am not quite sure how this process will unfold, I will have to tailor it as I go along.
For example: I have identified my 5 core desired feelings as: clear, connected, creative, relaxed, and powerful. I can choose to focus on one or two of those feelings in a particular week and do things that feed that feeling. Say I want to feel relaxed. It’s important to reflect on when I have felt relaxed in the past and recognize what makes me feel relaxed now. Then I make a list of things that induce relaxation for me: I feel relaxed when I get important items done early in the day, when I eat meals with friends, when I exercise and when I sleep enough. I feel relaxed when I am clear on my priorities so that I can give each task the time that it needs.
As mentioned in previous posts, I am going to read The Desire Map, and use the book to guide this process. I do have a growing list of goals and am always curious about what other people want to accomplish before they die. As I add things to my list, I ask myself why I want to do that particular thing and what feelings I believe I will get from achieving that task. Here are a few items I’ve come up with:
- Get ride of stuff: clarity, freedom, mobility, focus
- Learn Hootsuite: transferable skills, powerful, contribute, connection
- Surf vacation: relaxed, connection, powerful, mobile, focused
- Write/Blog: connection, contribute, powerful, relaxed, understanding, reflection, commitment
- Make another postcard: creative, connection, powerful, contribute
Using your core desired feelings as a way of setting goals is a great bullshit meter. Are you doing this for yourself or are you doing this because society tells you it’s cool? Are you creating your own path or are you drinking the Kool-Aid? Let’s get real. Happiness might be right around the corner if you check in with your motives.
Can you identify one of your core desired feelings? Is there a major life goal that you have? Shoot me an email and let me know what they are. Lara@LaraBuelow.com